Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
