Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
