I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize