Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
