I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
