3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
