I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
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I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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