He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
