dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
