I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
