his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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