Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
