I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
