Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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