Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
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She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
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How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?