I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.