i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him