He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵