ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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