i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
