Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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