Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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