opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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