He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.