Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.

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(707): I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it. http://tfl.nu/citx

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(716): View more from New York

I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?

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(716): I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays? http://tfl.nu/wnqx

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(517): View more from Michigan

I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?

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(517): I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore? http://tfl.nu/tjz8

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(682): View more from Texas

aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow

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(682): aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/8wvu

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land

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(978): a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land http://tfl.nu/vapb

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me

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(651): I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me http://tfl.nu/y5sm

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.

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(973): I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/8wfu

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(973): View more from New Jersey

She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja

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(973): She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja http://tfl.nu/0g6m

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(206): View more from Washington

Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.

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(206): Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table. http://tfl.nu/tpao

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(440): View more from Ohio

It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina

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(440): It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina http://tfl.nu/iyhy

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(303): View more from Colorado

I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome

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(303): I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome http://tfl.nu/ctsa

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(858): View more from California

I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail

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(858): I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail http://tfl.nu/x9sf

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(517): View more from Michigan

It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.

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(517): It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals. http://tfl.nu/8hcd

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(865): View more from Tennessee

My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.

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(865): My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy. http://tfl.nu/ige6

Replies (4) Good night (1380) Bad night (238)
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(301): View more from Maryland

You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there

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(301): You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there http://tfl.nu/jnb5

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