WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.