Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive