Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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