so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Alive.
So much puke
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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