So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
