He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
