I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
A+ Viking dick
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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