Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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