nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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