As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
where am i from again
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
