They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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