between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We need to rekindle our bromance
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
