I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
