i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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