I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
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Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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