there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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