There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
