I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
there is puke in my bra ... again
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