he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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