I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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