I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
