Girls should come with a carfax report
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
