Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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