I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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