But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
