Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
