I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
