man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize