Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
