My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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