My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
