How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
