I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
So. Much. Porn.
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