can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
