Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
