Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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