You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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